Uncle Gary

Yes, l'll admit: I enjoy some of the commercials that are broadcast on network and cable stations, particularly the humorous ones. The Spectrum ads are among those that I enjoy the most but lately I've noticed that Ellen DeGeneres' voice-overs have been removed and a male voice put in their place. I've searched the web for some mention of this but so far have found none. Usually, when something like this happens, especially when it concerns a celebrity of DeGeneres' stature, the bone of contention is money. Can anyone reading this post cast some light on this? I majored in advertising design in college so, yes, tend to take note of commercials, aside from their obvious function as sales pitches.

What if you could be transported back into the past with the proviso that you had only one minute--that's right, literally one minute--to relive that moment; which one would you choose?

Here's my moment: I am 17 years old, back in my beloved room in my family's apartment, reading a Marvel comic book, perhaps "The Amazing Spider Man" or "The Fantastic Four," and my mother calls out to me to go to the store to pick up some groceries or head to the local Ma Bell office to pay the phone bill. Just as I am preparing to go, my minute ends and I am thrust back into the present. My stay had to be short; if I'd remained a second longer, I may not want to return and that would alter the entire course of my life...

The object of my moment's transportation was to once again hear my mother's voice. What would be the object in your being transported into the past for just one minute?

Those of you who are insomniacs will know who I am referring to.

There has been a series of late-night TV charity spots featuring Child Fund, hosted by an avuncular older man with a white beard whom I call "Santa Claus." The last one was aired three or four years ago and it opens with an impoverished little boy who is fishing water from a filthy pond. Lately, I've noticed that a new spokesperson, recording artist Fernando Varela, has taken the old man's place; in effect, one talking head has been brought in to replace the other, more familiar one. However, the spot is exactly the same--it has not been updated. Usually when this occurs, it signals the death of the original spokesperson. Does anyone know if this is so?

I had earlier installed the latest version of Firefox and immediately lost my connection with the internet; I had to uninstall it and refresh my pc.

Hello, guys!

When was your most chagrining moment--when you were brought to utter shame for something that you said or did? And, rather than posit this as another "survey" question--the type you see a lot on this site--I'd like to first present my own example of chagrin:

I was having dinner with my best friend, a dancer who also worked as a waitress at a downtown restaurant--the same eatery where we had agreed to dine. When the time came to leave the tip I fished some change from my pocket and placed it on the table (this was back in the early '80s, where a tip of a dollar or two was still somewhat respectable); when she saw this, she became incensed. As a waitress, the size of the tip was of paramount importance to her, not only as a supplement to her income but also as a way of expressing appreciation for her service. Her face turned beet red and was contorted into a baleful glare as she openly scolded me for my apparent miserliness, and then she said something that came from left field: "I guess it's true what they say, that black people are lousy tippers!" My friend was Jewish and liberal, and up to that moment had never uttered anything that could be construed as being racially pejorative. I stared back at her in shame and disbelief, and said nothing. To this day, the remembrance of that remark still stings

So. What "still stings" for you?

Hello, my friends!

Once again this occasionally clueless baby boomer (me) has a question for the "texting" generation: What is a "debby downer"? I may be able to use this phrase when crafting stories meant for teens.

Hello, All!

I am a baby boomer and, yes, I confess to being a bit clueless sometimes about the things, like "texting," that everyone else it seems have long taken for granted. Alas, I am still loyal to my fountain pen and monogrammed stationery but I do want to learn.

What does it mean when a colon precedes a capital letter, for example, :P or :D? My teenage nieces use such terms in their email correspondence but I'm too embarrassed to ask them what it stands for.

Hello, my friends!

Okay, I'm a bit clueless when it comes to cultural iconography mainly because the categories by which they are defined are so fluid. I first heard this quip on "Mad TV" and then, later, on "Jersey Shore": "Where's the gabbagoo?"

What the heck is it?

Okay, guys!

Admittedly I belong to an older generation; there are some words and phrases uttered by the "texting generation" of which I am utterly clueless. Here is one: "Roll One Deep."

I came across this phrase from one of the questions posted by a teenager; I wanted to respond to it but was stymied by her jargon-heavy post. Is it slang? Thanks for aiding me in enlarging my personal dictionary.

'Tis the season to be jolly--or, at least, it was. In the spirit of the holiday season I pose this question to you all as well as to myself:

When did you learn that Santa Claus was a wonderful myth--little more than an illustration on a holiday greeting card?

One day, when I was about 11, I was engaged in an argument with my then nine-year-old sister about our respective opinions of Santa; in a fit of pique she blurted out that she'd seen our mother hiding our Christmas presents. "There is no Santa Clause!" she spat.

A half-century later I still feel the bitter disappointment of that revelation. It was, in a sense, the end of my childhood.

What's your story? Merry Christmas, guys! (It's okay if you still believe. I mean, who knows?)

Hey, guys, I'm flinging my door open to your opinions!

I've had my dvd player for about nine months and, because it has begun to "freeze up" more often (or not start at all) I must consider buying a laser cleaner. However, as far as price goes I'm clueless. Some online retailers post their items at around $10 or less; the local Best Buy sells what seems to be a good one for $20 ("dvd dr"). Does the price range denote a difference in quality? 'Scuse my ignorance but, how exactly does a laser cleaner clean?

There are certain words and phrases uttered by mostly adolescents and 20-somethings that I hear or read (at this site, among others) that seem like they are made up out of thin air; "skype" is one. Please educate this middle-aged dork!

More to the point, I bought a DVD player--an IView HD--about seven months ago. Up until now it worked beautifully but, for some reason, it has stopped playing discs. I mean, either it won't play at all or when it does the disc "freezes" shortly afterward. Shutting it on and off, or opening and closing the disc tray hasn't helped. I'm new to this technology. Before I begin the search for a reputable (?) DVD player repair shop (if any exists) is there anything else I should do? Aren't DVD players supposed to work a little longer than seven months?!!

Okay. I'll admit that I'm clueless with regard to what I call "text-speak." When I attempt to communicate with my teenage nephews and nieces on Facebook in plain English they answer, somewhat cheekily, with the above and other forms of shorthand used for texting messages. If I ask for an explanation I get an "lol" for a reply. Is there a "texting glossary" I can look up to search out some of these phrases and, more to the point, use them so I don't sound like some old-fashioned clod! (Oh, well, I guess to them I AM an old-fashioned clod.)

Since I consume a about a quart or so of bottled water daily (mostly when I'm writing at the public library) I would like to know if I should be concerned about the prospect of the plasticity of the bottles leeching into the water?

Most of you out there has gotten this message at one time or another: "Action canceled! Interrnet Explorer was unable to link to the web page you requested..." you get the picture. My problem is, this error screen does not go away! Every time I attempt to connect with the internet that message will at least partially block the web page I'm on, whether it is AOL, MSN or Yahoo! Hitting the refresh button corrects the problem for awhile until I reboot, then I have to go through this hassle all over again. Incidentallly, I've only been experiencing this problem since I got an old Gateway pc from a friend. I doubt that the brand has anything to do with this but I had no difficulty with my previous (Dell) pc. Any ideas, folks?