Positive adoption stories???

I was a taken care of my adoptive parents from the day I was born basically. I know perhaps this doesnt count. I grew up knowing the fact I was adopted. I am eurasian- part korean part german. I love my adoptive parents so much. To me, they are my real parents. I may have another mother out there, but she's gave birth to me. But I came from my adoptive mother's heart. They are originally from South Africa (but are white). They are deff my real parents to me: I scream at them, fight with them, but then I come crawling back when I want something :) My adoptive relatives are amaazing, too and treat me like any other family member. Although I am curious about my biological parents, I find it more exciting not to find out about them because then I can believe they're anybody. They could be billionaires for all I know!!!

You should share this little piece of advice with your daughter when she starts to go to school: Never be ashamed of being adopted. It makes you special, and show that your (adoptive) parents love you even more. Also, I found many people said sorry to me when I informed them I was adopted. When I was younger, I meekly smiled at this and told the person it wasn't all that bad. However, now I frown at this sympathetic gesture. Being adopted allowed me to become the strong young woman I am today. My "real" parents are the ones I have lived with for the majority of my life. My parents love me, nutured me, encouraged me, and were there when I needed them most. The only thing my other set of "parents" did was give birth to me. If you ask me, the true parents are the ones that care for you, not ditch you because of commitment phobia!!

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Positive adoption stories???

I would really love to hear more positive adoption stories, and yes, I know they are out there!!! I know many people who are adopted and are happy!! For those of you who are adoptees and have had a bad experience, I am curious to know what about your adoptive family hurt you so much. I have a 3...

What has hurt me, an adoptee is that my mother has sided with her biological child. My feelings have NEVER been considered. If I ever speak up & say my feelings are hurt she turns that on me in a negative way. I'm not suppose to have feelings at all.

There is a racial difference in my family & I've found that the biological child has been invited to family gatherings but I haven't. That hurts. Don't gloss over things like this that happen. Stand up for your child against any relatives who may not treat them right. My mother always wants to make OTHER people feel good but never me.

What I can say is that living through this has taught me the kind of mother I do NOT want to be.

Hi We have 2 adopted girls [birth sisters 7 & 5yrs ] and we have a very open relationship with them. they have known from a very young age and are very happy. Just explain in very simple terms that you chose her and love her very much. And that her mother could not look after her - you don't have to go into great detail why she couldn't. being so young she will always know you as her mum so its all should be easier. the older the child the more memories and ' baggage' they carry.

BEST OF LUCK i am sure you will do a great job.

One day you may well get in a heated tantrum ' you are not my mum ' but please rise above it don't take it personally. just repeat the you were chosen and give mega big hugs, it worked for us! she is just testing you.... ALL KIDS DO!!!!

we have birth story books which gives them a pictorial view of their lives and every now and again out they come and we sit down and chat about them. we find that helps settle them if they have a blip. which they do occasionally.

hope I have helped.

You know my adoptive parents are actually very good people.

I think it is very good that you want to be as supportive to your daughter as possible,

At such a young age, 3 1/2 months I would take great care to hold her, play with, not leave alone in her crib, adoptees need lots of reassurance that they will not be left again, the issues come up differently and different ages, I didn't cry when I was a baby, and my adoptive mother thought I was such a good baby, I think I was actually defeated, and she lacked the post birth hormones also, I obviously didn't get breastfed, etc, so at this age, my advice would just be to keep her close, when my son was born, they told me the first 6 months are the most important months in one's life, so I would do heavy attachment parenting now, and hopefully she will avoid some of the abandonment issues that can crop up later.

I would go to the library and get a good book on attachment parenting.

Good luck.

It wasn't my adoptive family that was the problem. It was the fact that my firstmother left me and no one could tell me why and even if they could have told me why, it still would have hurt. Think about your own mother, now imagine how you would feel knowing she left you at the hospital at three days old knowing she'd probably never see you again.

I know that many here think that mothers who relinquish are giving and kind but for an adoptee, all we know is that the one person who was supposed to be our mother left us.

I met my biological mother this year for the first time. She had been looking for me. She never got over relinquishing me. I was also able to get my records and learn more about what happened. Learning the truth has brought me some peace. My biomom and I are trying to forge a relationship but it is not easy.

And the reality is that had she not been looking for me, I never would have found her. I never would have had my questions answered. That is just not fair. I have no rights to my info without my biomom's permission. I am well over 21 but adoption keeps me a child forever. A commodity.

My amom and I are closer than ever. She is happy for me that my mysteries are solved. She is not jealous or resentful. She has no reason to be.

We adoptees that some of you see as "Angry" are usually quite the opposite. I am very happy. I have a wonderful family and many friends. My life has been good. But I always felt sad about being relinquished.

There is a difference between hating adoption and being sad and hurt about being relinquished. I lost my entire family when I was three days old. And while I gained a new one eventually, I have issues with losing my family of origin.

I adopted my son when he was 2 1/2 years old and his half sister when she was 16 months old. (they were born and adopted 4 years apart.) I found that kids that didn't grow up knowing they were adopted and knowing what "adopted" meant were the ones that had the problems. from the day I brought them home, I told them I was glad I adopted them and glad the judge said they could be mine. I bought them books on adoption and read them almost every day. they grew up knowing that we were a "made" family and that their grandparents, uncle, and I were glad they were part of the family. now they are grown and have said they never felt adopted. they are loved unconditionally and know it. I have cousins on both sides of my family that have adopted and have had excellent experiences.

Okay positive stories. My story by your standards is a positive one. My amom loves and supports me fully including my search, my access to my records, and my meeting my natural mother. Interestingly enough, adoption as a practice ended with my adoption. There is no way my adoptive mother would ever let any grandchild of hers be adopted. My own adoptive mother would like to see adoption investigated in the United States. She has heard enough stories about how mothers and fathers are getting their rights violated by unscrupulous agencies.

Make sure she has access to her OBC. Make sure that you and the natural parents have an amicable relationship. Don't feel threatened by the natural parents' relationship with your child. Always always be honest with your child.

Be honest with her when she is old enough. My parents told me when I was 5. I have known for as long as I can remember. If you eventually have bio children, treat your adopted one as you treat them. Love her unconditionally, accept her, be there for her. Support her. Don't ever make her feel " adopted ".

I'm a birthmom and the birthfather and I both choose to give our daughter up. We both have an open adoption with the adoptive parents. They also have a bio daughter. We get emails, pictures and visits. I think a lot of adoptees pain is just not knowing. If you have pictures of her birthparents or can share anything. I think it's important to be honest and let them know right away.