Having a hard time .....?

A very close friend of mine died 4 days ago.

He happened to be my first love. He has been in my life for 14 years, we dated when we were teenagers. It was tragic. He was 29.

We were both married and in love with others, but I never fell out of love with him and he never fell out of love with me. We loved each other, very much, and were very important to each others lives.

My husband knows how much I cared for him.

I feel like a part of me is gone. I am having a very hard time dealing.

I feel like I lost the love of my life -- my husband is very supportive and understands what I am going through. He had a similiar death 2 years ago of someone close to him.

I have gathered photos of him, and a video - all of which I am giving his wife copies of - but each day isn't getting easier.

I don't know what I am looking for here, but anything is helpful. This isn't the first time I had someone close to me pass away, but this is horrid.

How do you cope?

I just..... am at a loss