What's wrong with this sentence and how do I fix it?

Question

I'm typing up a letter for my boss and this sentence is driving me nuts.  I can't figure out exactly what's wrong or how to correct it.

"At that stage, we would hope that we are very close to a settlement with regard to figures to be revised."

I changed "are" to "were", but it still doesn't sound right.  I just got the copy back, and he crossed out "were" and put in "are" again.

What's going on here?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"At that stage, we would hope" seems to refer to the future tense
"that we are very close" seems to refer to the present tense

so your tenses don't match.

Needs to say either
"At that stage, we would hope that we would/will be very close"
or
"At this stage, we would hope that we are very close"

Lawn Jockey · Answer

Sounds like legalese. 

"At that stage, we would hope to be close to a settlement on the figures, which are yet to be revised."

But sometimes the best thing to do is rip up a sentence and start over rather than try to fight through it.

Anonymous · Answer

Since you are talking about something you hope will happen in the future, use the future tense!  

"At that stage, we would hope that we will be very close to a settlement with regard to figures to be revised."  

I would write it as...

"At that stage, we hope that we will be very close to a settlement with regard to the figures that are to be revised."  !!!

Kukana · Answer

I'd remove the 'would'.  That makes it sound too vague. 

If you're talking about something now, you could try: 

'At this stage, we hope that we are very close to a settlement...' 

If you're talking about something further ahead, after some other event, try:

'At that stage, we hope to be very close to a settlemement...'

What's wrong with this sentence and how do I fix it?

4 Answers