If you know you are dying and have an infant, should you video yourself for the child's future?

Question

In the movie "My Life" Bob is dying from cancer. He's kind of a PR showman.  In his last months, he videos himself so his kid will know him in the future.  Is this narcissistic?  Would it be better for a kid to not know about a parent, rather than be told "this is your dead dad you can mourn for."  Do you want a 5 year old kid going to school saying "I have a dead dad" or is it better just to let the child grow up with a step dad being the only dad he knows?  A lot of women who remarry when the child is an infant, tell the child her husband is the daddy.  They usually wait until the child become a late teen or adult to tell the child her husband is not the child's biological father.  Which is more moral?  Tell the child the truth from the beginning, or save the child from pain of knowing he used to have a different daddy, but that daddy died a horrible death???

Minnow · Accepted Answer

Most children I know would want to know who their real father is, and know as much about him as possible.  I mean, I keep a journal right now and write my thoughts and feelings in it with the thought that when I die my daughter will have something of me.  My grandfather did the same, and I never met my grandfather, he was dead when I was born.  Through his writings I don't feel so lonesome for a grandfather, and it helps me know him a bit better.  

Personally I think writing in a journal is better... but I don't see anything narcissistic with it.  If the child doesn't want to see it or read it they never have to.  It's basically leaving that option open for them.

? · Answer

I absolutely think a video is a fine idea.  Some parents who do not expect to survive also write letters or keep journals with thoughts for their children.  This helps the child to feel more like he knew the father.  Pictures, memories, anything that will make that person real is priceless.  If you lie to your child about his birth parents, he will resent you as he gets older.  Note the change in attitude toward telling adoptive children that they are adopted.  The child will find out he had a different father than his step father someday.  That does not mean he will love the stepfather any less.  But knowing about his birth parent will help fill a hole in his heart.  You don't need to tell children Daddy died a "horrible" death, just that he was sick and died, or got hurt and died, or whatever the circumstance.  It will help the child understand he was not abandoned.

kiley · Answer

in accordance to the sign, Adam's disobedience is the reason of the holocaust, no longer the disobedience of the Jewish human beings. so far as different image issues interior the demonstrate, persons could tell themselves in the previous figuring out to take their little ones. i in my view, would not choose my little ones seeing stuff that bloody and image until they are older. no remember if or no longer i've got confidence it to be reality or historic has little touching on that determination. they simply are not waiting for that. and you're suitable. i would not enable them to observe an R rated action picture the two. Heck, I preview PG movies! edit - btw The lambs are skinned as a results of fact Adam & Eve are donning the floor as clothing. they did no longer proceed to placed on aprons created from nicely-located fig leaves. (i'm particularly valuable that they did no longer have double-stick tape!)

tra la la la la la · Answer

i think it is down to personal opinion. most likely if the mother had a dead partner she would go and visit a grave there for the child would be aware there was a dead person and they would probably know it was there father. there is a high chance the child would be curious to see photos or videos of the dead parent.

If you know you are dying and have an infant, should you video yourself for the child's future?

4 Answers