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What do you think of my poem, "Why?"?

Why?

The world ain't colorblind,

Time twists wasted on divine

Lines and bright signs.

The world ain't no harmony

You can't sing on all keys,

Doors are hidden from thee.

The world ain't always true

Falsehoods are heard, too,

As plain gibberish soothes.

That's why the world is blue.

A song you just can't tune.

8 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Boring boring boring

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Very very nice. Nice metaphors. Nice syncopated rhythm (groove). Reminiscent of the Beat poets of yore. Something one of them might’ve read on the stage of one of those little offbeat coffee shops down in Greenwich Village in the late ‘50s to mid ‘60s. I dig it. Exceptional, actually. Yeah, although I was pretty young and maybe didn’t appreciate it as much as I did when I got older, I was actually alive during that era and in that particular metropolitan location,  so I know what the vibe was like back then. And how people interacted with one another. And appreciated things like what you’ve composed here. And it was much better in those days than it is nowadays I have to say. I guess because there were more people who expressed themselves in the way that you do. But yeah, you have some transcendent gifts there. I write a little bit myself so I think I’m pretty good at detecting writing chops when I see it. LOL. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    I love ‘as plain gibberish soothes.”  

     Not singing all keys is great usage. I like how it moves from twists to lines (juxtaposition of image)  Not connecting the doors and harmony but I’m ok with that.

    It’s smart but colloquial.  I had to put on my Matthew mcconaughey voice.  

  • 4 weeks ago

    It's great.   

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is pretty good.

  • 1 month ago

    This poem is a tired soul

    Drifting over salty seas

    Too deafened by those raucous gulls

    To hear the ocean breathe

  • 2 months ago

    the hustle

    the bustle

    and the sleaze

    I will travel

    the city

    with ease

    Out on top, but it's not the end

    there is more to come, my friend

  • 2 months ago

    that was nice, you are good

    you got more for me to read?

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