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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 3 weeks ago

Found out I’m pregnant yesterday (19 yo) advice?

Yesterday I found out I’m pregnant I’m probably two weeks now.  And if you’re gonna lecture me or be rude leave cuz I know I ****** up.  I’m about to transfer out of cc to csulb or SDSU.  I’ve  been with my boyfriend since high school but none of us want kids at least until we were 26.  I haven’t told him yet but he said whatever happens he’ll support me.  I don’t know how to tell him.  I’m going to the clinic today to make sure I am but I know older couples always have nice ways of saying they’re expecting well because it’s a different situation... but I don’t wanna look back knowing ima keep the baby and realize how dreadful the whole experience was because of fear.  Since we’re 19/20 yo... is showing him a baby onesie from his favorite soccer team a bad way to tell him I’m pregnant? I don’t want to say it out loud because I get sad and cry about it, I’m kind of in shock still. And telling my parents well that’s a whole different story... advice on how to tell my bf and parents? And if there are typos well I’m in a rush sooo

Update:

The reason I don’t plan on taking him to the clinic is my sister is going with me she’s the only one that knows as of now and has been really supporting.  Today is my brothers birthday and I don’t want to make it about me, plus my boyfriend has classes.  I feel like it would be pointless to take him since due to coronavirus they only let one person in the room/clinic so he would have to wait in the car so regardless he would have to hear it from me and not the doctor.

Update 2:

I told my bf today he was shocked and looked like he wanted to cry probably hasn’t really hit but he said he will obviously be there and told me I should’ve surprised him but I didn’t because of what people said ... smh.  I feel better because we know it will be hard but hearing him excited now and actually wants it is getting me a bit happy about the situation

7 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honestly, I think you should take him with you to the clinic if you can...that way he hears it from someone else and reality hits him appropriately.  Freaking out is a normal thing and you should be afraid at first.  It's going to take a long time to work out what you need to do but the two of you sitting down with your (both his and your parents is ideal) and being straightforward.  There is no use feeling guilty, ashamed, or like you're a bad person because all that doesn't matter now...just make sure everybody is all on the same page and that all expectations are clear after you have a long talk.  Good luck to you!

  • 3 weeks ago

    Calm down.. If you're crying and sad when you say it out loud maybe this baby just isn't for you. Not right now anyway. I'd consider abortion or adoption, if you don't believe in abortion. It just sounds like it's not the right time, because even thinking about it does not make you happy.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    How is your boyfriend going to react to this?  It's unexpected, unplanned, and so i wouldn't make light of it by showing him a onesie if there's a chance he might not be thrilled about it.  Plus you said you two don't want kids right now and are working toward your educations.

    Lots to think about. I hope things work out for the best.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    No, do not give your bf an announcement onsie as though this unplanned pregnancy is something to be excited about. Break the news to him directly. Tell him what it is you plan to do (keep/adopt/abort). Expect that whatever you decide to do, that you may be doing it alone because it's quite possible that he will bail. Just because he's said he'll support you in whatever you choose doesn't mean he actually will when the chips are down, because it's much easier for him to run away from this than it is for you. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Cry, scream, whatever you feel, feel it. Then settle down, tell your parents the day after your brothers birthday. Parents go in many different directions, from supportive to *****, allow them to also feel what they feel without judgment. At some point abortion is going to be put out there for discussion, don't get all butt hurt if this is not the direction you wish to go in. Somebody has to put it out there, all must be discussed. Then, after people have calmed down, sit again and talk, lots of planning ill need to be done.

  • helene
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    There's nothing wrong with crying. It's definitely better than trying to be cute and having it blow up in your face.

    If this is a serious moment, treat it as one. There will be time enough later for the lighthearted stuff.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Young parent here.  I too got pregnant at age 20.  I was in shock too since I was on BC. 

    It took me a while to tell him.  I waited until it was just us.  Said well, congrats your going to be a dad.

    He wasn't so happy at first.  Wanted me to get a blood test.  Things did eventually worked out

    I made him tell my Sicilian dad.  Since it was his fault.  LOL

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