Furious at suicide?

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. As someone else mentioned...seeking a grief counselor or a therapist would benefit you.

I think its hurting you (the mention of the word 'suicide') because you no doubt have anger and hurt towards your friends act. Suicide is so painful because it typically leaves people with unanswered questions and a whole bunch of "What If's.."

No one can change the past. We can't go back and do things differently. Focus on the fact that your friend is at peace right now. Remember him by celebrating his life not being angry at his death.

I don't like jokes about suicide either. Its a very serious matter. I have faith you'll be okay, Jenny.

I to had the same reaction when people even talked about suicide for about 12 months after i lost someone very special to me. I ended up talking to someone about it and it made me realise that in fact i was mad at myself because i was blaming myself inside for no seeing the signs and helping my loved one. In fact 90% of people who lose someone to suicide blame them self for not stoping them weather they relize they are or not. Honestly you need to think as to weather you are blaming yourself or not and is this the reason your angry about it? I know it will be quiet confronting but you need to do this to be able to move on (not forget them) just forgive, you may also be mad at them (i was)as suicide is such a terible thing to understand. Good luck and i hope you can move on from this as it was not your fault, just something your friend thought was the only way out. Good luck

Did you seek grief counseling after your friend's death at all? It sounds like you still have many unresolved feelings about it. You'll probably continue to have these outbursts if you don't get to the root of them.

I suggest seeking counseling to help you overcome your feelings.

Good luck.