Have you ever heard of a grown woman who refused to attend the (local) funeral of her saintly grandmother?

I am this someone

My grandmother died peacefully of Alzheimer's.

I have wonderful memories of my grandmother.

Funerals are for the living...and sometimes they can bring out the worse in some.

Death is a very uncomfortable, touchy subject.

Try to be supportive...maybe she needs to talk.

How do you know she's vindictive? Maybe she can't handle it well.

Since my son died and I had to attend his funeral, I have avoided funerals like the plague. Just can't handle them.

I had a cousin who was unable to do funerals since she was a teen and her Mom died suddenly. She refused to go. She couldn't. Even when my Mom died, (and my Mom was her favorite relative) she could not go to the funeral. She stayed home and fixed a beautiful lunch for all those of us who'd gone to the funeral. She did the same when my son died.

And then, when she died, she left instructions that she was to be cremated, and her ashes scattered in a favorite place. No funeral.

Being unable to do funerals is not nutty, nor may it be vindictive.

Do not judge her, if you don't wish to be judged.

Yes...why is it nutty?

You can't really judge people's decisions, and chocies. YOu never know what type of relationship they had...or how the person deals with funerals.

This is far fetched, but suppose that the grandmother used to molest the woman & here you are calling her nutty because she will not go to the funeral. My point is tha tyou never know why people make their decisions

Am I rude? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agt1i...

Maybe her 'saintly' grandmother wasn't so saintly...

Maybe she is too hurt and too traumatized to go to the funeral....

Maybe it's not something you should worry about, since funeral attendance is a personal thing.

People have done worse things. I wouldn't worry about her. The only person she is doing a disservice to is herself. One day, she'll probably regret her decision.

Are you sure though that she is doing it to be mean? Were there any issues between the two women? Maybe she is so upset she doesn't want to go to the funeral because she is so sad.

I'm sure she has her reasons & someone who others perceive as saintly might not be the case at all

some ppl deal with grief in different ways

my brother, the manly man, for example is actually very sensitive and doesn't want ppl to see him break down. even tho he wants to be there, he's still embarrassed and doesn't want to break down in front of his family

there's a chance she may do it to be vindictive, but there's also a possibility she is very sad and grieving in her own way