I am very defensive and my wife feels she can't tell me anything because of it. How do I stop?

I have been a defensive person for most of my life. People have told me that I take things the wrong way. Someone would say something to me and I would turn into a cross between a defense attorney and a cornered animal. My mother used to say that she could not talk to me when I got like this. Part of it is me, part of it is the fact that I worked in high pressure jobs with very demanding bosses and clients, which only fed more gas to the fire. Sometimes my wife says something innocent to me about something that happened or didn't happen. I feel like I am back in those high pressure jobs and my defensiveness kicks into maximum overdrive and I over-react. For instance, she may say to me that the grass is kind of high. I take it as "WHY ISN"T THIS MOWED? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU HAVE FAILED TO MEET MY EXPECTATIONS! " I feel attacked and give a defense and she says "all I meant was that the grass is a bit high." Things like this have happened more than a few times and she informed me today that she feels like she cannot tell me things. I know that this is not good. How do I stop?