Does this poem have any irrelevancies that I should edit out?

Question

Nothing is beautiful enough, it seems,
They Photoshop landscapes,
Edit out nature’s touches
If they adversely affect the desired effect;
You can make a killing Arctic wasteland
Seem like a magical kingdom
For unicorns and mermaids
Maybe they existed once 
And were banished there
That’s why they’re dead now.

They capture the ruins 
Of temples dedicated to various deities
And make the architecture stand out 
Like no blood ever ran in rivers in the courtyard
After the impious and the blasphemous
Were slain to appease some sanctimonious faction.
Fractional expressions that leave the sum of the whole
In an answer book that is accessible
Only to the few initiated into the administrative fold.

Is burning the flag treason?
Not if you were burned by it first.
Countless victims of a sovereign’s ideals
That were not well thought out,
We wave banners not in defiance
But in complacency
Or ignorance.
Soldiers return from a war 
Waged upon our minds
And pocketbooks,
The cost economically minimal when compared
To the spiritual fees paid by the warriors.
They are treated like debtors, never free.

Thomas · Answer

All the stanzas seem to relate, though in the first one, setting things
up, I wasn't sure what you were talking about.  I like your writing, and
the poem, but it does seem like there's a lot of blame-shifting  maybe
in how it is written.   The poem is written in all three persons, 1st (I)
2nd (you) and 3rd person plural (they)

So, it get's confusing.  I'm a born again Christian.  Does that put me in
the group of "They?"    They needs to be defined, and I'm not sure who
they is?

So, the poem is very good of you can rewrite it telling us who they are.
Or, it's probably just me LC.

I like your last line best.   You know, our country by far is home of more
folks that hate the USA that any other country.  Why?  This think we call
freedom.   Personally, I wish some of these folks, especially the ones who
wouldn't blink beheading me, would leave, get outta here.

Battle axe · Answer

everything after line 1 but i agree you have a right to believe what you want  but i doubt the families who lost loved ones on 9-11-2001 or 9-11-1697 or 9 of 72 when a group called black sept kidnapped an entire Olympic team of 11 would agree but besides thats i like it....Most people are not aware how long this war has been fought or how many people have laid down their lives so that tonight people don't kick your door down and make you bow down behind the *** in front of you 3 times a days  or more .God bless the USA

Coop 366 · Answer

A couple of good messages and I enjoyed the read. The first and second got together for they are or same thought but the last is total different. To burning the flag should be treason for it is a emblem of America which many men have died for.

? · Answer

there are a lot of poems here.  edit them into 5 instead of one

WinterRose · Answer

Who is "they" in your poem? <-------Honest!  I wrote this B4 I read the replies of others!  I like the smaller poem below better then the larger, longer poem above.   Again, who is "they?"

Does this poem have any irrelevancies that I should edit out?

5 Answers