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How do I deal with my wife's sister at an upcoming family party?

In a couple of weeks, my wife and I are going to be hosting a 40th birthday party for my wife's brother at our house. My wife's parents, brother and his wife along with their kids, and my wife's sister will be there. My wife's sister will be the oldest sibling there. My wife's sister also loves to take pictures and thinks is is her Constitutional right to be able to photograph our kids. I don't like this but my wife takes her side because she is afraid her sister won't a. baby sit our kids and b. will go into a depressive episode and do who knows what. I really want to confront her, but my wife is insistent that I don't. I don't want to spoil the party, but I also don't want to take any crap from my sister in law. What should I do?

8 Answers

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  • 6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your house, your kids - your rules.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Your wife is right.

    Get some therapy to learn how to deal with your uncomfortable emotions.

    If you take the attitude "my house, my kids, my rules", you will be living alone in YOUR house, without your kids and without your wife.

    Marriage is a partnership and it means you don't always get your way. And when you don't, then YOU have to deal with YOUR emotions about it.

    It isn't bother ANYONE ELSE, is it? That is your clue that YOU are the problem here.

    You don't say that it makes your kids break up in tears .. or that it bothers your wife, or her brother, or her parents or your nieces and nephews. YOU are the one with the problem . .not then.

    Only an immature egocentric narcissist thinks the rest of the world should bend to their will so they never have unpleasant emotions.

    Your sister-in-law is not doing harm. The only problem here is your problem with control issues, low self-esteem, and lack of self-empowerment. If you have a healthy ego, you would not be bothered by this.

    Confrontation spoils the party, spoils the family relationships, and usually also spoils the marriage.

    Confront your own emotions, rather than your sister-in-law.

    Take takes maturity AND courage.

    And if you can't do it, get some therapy so you can learn how.

  • fuzzo
    Lv 6
    6 years ago

    How about joining in instead?

    Get a load of cheap disposable cameras and get everyone to join in, including the kids. It's a family event, enjoy it, and you'll end up with so many photo's and everyone will have a great time.

    Kids with cameras take photos from a different perspective, and with everyone taking freelance shots you'll get to control the images and not have to worry about the images getting uploaded without you okaying them.

    It;s understandable in today's world why you have concerns no one else is seeing, but it's a party, and you're hosting so make it a theme,

    ALL guests get a disposable numbered camera and you get the developing done.

  • .
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    It would have been helpful if you'd explained why you have an issue with the woman taking pictures of your kids. does she post them on predator websites or something? It seems an odd thing to be bothered by, unless she does something with the photos that could put your kids in potential danger. So, without knowing what your issue is, I'm going with..let it go. It's a non-issue and since you didn't say why you don't like it, all we can assume is it's a quirk of yours and there is no legitimate reason to be bugged by it.

    MANY people take photos at family and social events. It's a very common behavior. It won't steal pieces of your children's souls.

    OR have your kids wear Halloween makeup and wigs throughout the event, so the wouldn't be identifiable in photos. ☺

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    It's just pictures. What is your problem with it? Does she post them online or try to make money out of your kids' pictures by selling them on the street?

    I think you should let this all go if it's all for the sake of your kids and their memories of a happy event. Focus on what's more important for you and your wife. Keep a harmonious relationship with your wife's family. It's important for her and your kids

  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    You don't say why you object to the picture taking. Is she posting them on social media or some public forum or are the pics for family use only? At face value you should be ok with some pics.

  • Mary
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Why are you so against pictures of your kids? If you do not want pictures of your kids taken, send them to another room to play with their cousins. If you do not want the pics posted on FB, tell her you are protecting them from indentity thieves and online pedophiles. She will probably laugh and brush you off, but it may plant a seed in everyone else's mind that maybe you are right.

  • Mike C
    Lv 5
    6 years ago

    All over taking pictures of your kids? Dude... Pick your battles.

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