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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 3 weeks ago

I'm 41, single parent of 4 and just found out I'm pregnant again. Kids are 21, 16, 12 and 9. ?

I've had 3 miscarriages in the last 2.5 years. With this one I will be another single mom as the father wanted me to have an abortion. When should I tell my mom and my kids. I am already showing and don't know how much longer I can hide it

Update:

You know all you judgemental ones probably don't even have kids. If you can't answer a simple question then just scroll on. Bottom Line. I was with the same man for 20 years, had 4 beautful children so yes I obviously know where babiesw come from. He passed away and yes I'm entitled to move on. These smartass comments to not bother me so you trolls can move right along.

Update 2:

@Ginniphur well aren't a genuis. And Still acting like what??? First, DO NOT call my kids bastards, people don't live forever, yes their dad had an illness and passed away, is that anyones fault? NO!  I will not stoop to your level and say your mom should have killed you even though that's what I'm thinking. And I'm far from a hoe. I love these high oh mighty people that think they are better than everyone else and more than likely don't even have kids. Probably just bitter bc nobody wants you

Update 3:

@notapilot, believe me this was certainly not planned and a complete shock to the both of us

@? the being a single mom part is not really bothering me, yes it would be nice for my child to have their father and my other childrens father passed away and there is no changing that I can't bring their dad back. I'm thinking it would just be best to wait until after the first trimester to tell anyone. Thank you for your kind words and not being judgemntal like these other perfections on here 

Update 4:

@funnelweb my oldest 3 are boys and my youngest is a girl. The reason I'm kinda hesitant is because I did tell them before and my daughter was so happy and excited she was gonna be a big sister then was so upset and cried when I miscarried. So that's another reason I'm stuck on if I should say something now or wait until after 12 weeks. And I am 100% getting fixed after this one. I've had all natural births so I'm not sure how it works if I have another natural. Not sure if they can do it then

Update 5:

@professional user- well aren't you just a lil ray of sunshine. I'd like to know how I'm a slut. Some people have 4 and 5 if not more baby daddies yet all 4 of my kids have the same dad who passed away. I moved on and am pregnant with another man's child. You must be a special kind of stupid. I bet you make your mama proud.

Update 6:

@garry never said it was your problem, I was seeking suggestions not hate. I'm not about hate, all about helping others maybe you should do the same or just keep scrolling

Update 7:

@lisa thank you so much for your kind words. At this point the comments are entertaining to me. People have so much hate in their hearts it's unreal and they can only be happy bashing others. Regarding your neice that is awesome I'm so happy for her. All it takes is a great family support system and we can be the best moms we know how to be

18 Answers

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  • 2 weeks ago

    Wow! Some of these people are quite hateful and condemning! What's sad is it's not just one or two being that way, it's more than half of the repliers. 

    That's a shame that your future baby has a "father" who wanted you to abort your and his baby. My daughter's "father" has no part in her life, instead of requesting an abortion, he was insulting in his denial of being the bio dad, and wanted a paternity test...I chose to ignore his behavior and didn't want someone like him involved in our life. He's the type, IF he had wanted to have visitations, most likely would be poisoning her mind with doubts, ill talk and feelings. 

    Not sure what the dad of your baby's feelings on your upcoming birth, but to me he already sounds like he wouldn't really be father material. Seems there are a lot of those type of "men" more and more these days. 

    As for letting your family know about your pregnancy, perhaps when things settle down and are calmer for you. It's quite a bit to cope with having to deal with the upcoming birth of another child, then the "father" wanting you to have an abortion, having to be a single mother...NOT to mention how this past 15 months are more have turned our world upside down...that's a lot to have on one's plate.

    I'm sure you will know when, as they say "Mother knows best." Sending warm wishes for peace happiness and joy for you and your new soon to be baby. 

  • ?
    Lv 4
    2 weeks ago

    You had several miscarriage's in the last few years (my apologies) so it sounds like this pregnancy was intentional. Surely you've wanted this to happen. And since you've had several kids already, you are already aware of all the ins and outs of being a parent. Nothing will be a surprise for you. You already know about the late nights, the feedings, the diapers, the crying, all the hardships (as well as the joys). You should be emotionally prepared and certainly have more education on the matter than any first time mom. You will just have to work on having the stamina for all those less sleep nights. The nice thing is that you still have other kids in the house. They better be aware that your time will have to be spent mostly with this new addition to your family. Luckily they might be able to assist with baby chores. Best of luck. 

  • 2 weeks ago

    Michele,

    Maybe when it feels to be the right time for you, then you can confide to your family members about your pregnancy. Sorry about the loss of your husband and the father of your children. You have my sympathies. Also sorry how you were looking for advice and came across and some very mean answers. What would they think of one of my nieces who does have 4 children fathered by 4 different men. 😲They'd probably want to stone her. SMH.Married to 3 of them for a short time, all by the age of 21! None of my other nieces had been in her predicament, yet none of us judged her at all. She takes good care of her babies, the fathers all get along and strangely enough, 7 years later ended up back with her 1st husband. He is awesome with her 3 other children not being his biological offspring.Good luck on newest edition and no doubt you will reveal your pregnancy when you feel it's the right time. ✌🏼🤞🏼👌🏼😃

  • 2 weeks ago

    Whenever you want since you're supposed to be a grown adult.,,,, do what would be best

  • ?
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    congratulations , kid number 5 without a dad , really smart arent you ..your problem not ours ..lol !!! by the way how does a male troll get pregnant with 4 kids already ..🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    There is a high chance that you will be a single mom to this baby because you mentioned the father wants you to get an abortion. Sometimes men take longer to adjust and if he knows your keeping it he may eventually come around. With that said he still will have a financial obligation for this child. You shouldn't be thinking negative about miscarriages, yes they can happen especially with your history. And at your age you are at higher risk. Take it one day at a time. When your ready you can announce your pregnancy.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I thought the same as 'anonymous' .(i can be pre-judice sometimes). Sorry to hear about your husband.

    Sex should be within marriage if you want your children to have a good example; then your kids wont be scared to tell you when they are pregnant.

    Well done on not killing the innocent child.  Hope you can afford it.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Whenever you want since you're supposed to be a grown adult.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    and you still dont know what causes pregnancy

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    too much leg opening with the wrong men , ever heard of contraception?

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