i love my husband despite the cheating he did to me...but my family & friends don't want me to go back to him.?

It is normal for your family and friends to be protective over you....he hurt you very much, and they don't want to see it happen to you again....

Only YOU can decide what it is that you will do...You can forgive your husband but it is difficult to forget.

You also have to deal with the trust issues as well....

It is not an easy but it is possible. I would have to say the biggest test here is how your husband is reacting to all of this....Did he tell you or did you just find out? Does he truly feel remorseful and is he acknowledging how much he has hurt you? And has he promised never to do this again?

You have to let him know if you do decide to take him back, that it is going to take some time for you to feel comfortable and he is going to have to earn that trust back....and yes it will take some time...

You also let him know that it will be on YOUR terms if you take him back....that you will forgive him this once, but you will never forgive him again if he cheats....You have to be perfectly upfront with him and no exceptions....And that if you need him to call you more often, or check in, or let you know where he is going, that is part of it.....that he needs to do whatever it is that YOU need from him to help YOU through all of this....

I truly hope that you can work things out with your husband. Good luck to you hon....(((HUGS)))

I have a question...do they hate him or dislike him for any reasons, other than the cheating? Is he bad with money? Is he a drinker? Did he abuse you financially and borrow money which he never paid back, or would pay it back and then borrow it right back from you again, in a cycle? Does he not want to work or pursue a better job? I am wondering if they hate him for any other reasons...but, the cheating in itself is bad enough.

Why do you feel you can't be happy or content without him? He had no right to cheat on you and hurt you. What's so great about him, that you can't just let him go and find somebody better, who is honest, loyal, and who cherishes your feelings? What's so desirable about somebody who cheats? I would think he'd be very repulsive in your eyes and you'd want nothing more to do with him. Are you dependent on him for money? It sounds to me your family cares a lot about you and you have a home to go to, meaning, they'd be kind enough to take you in, no matter what. That is a very valuable thing to have. Always put your loving family like your mom and dad FIRST, before any guy.

Betrayal and sneaking around is never something good.

But, it's up to you. If you want to forgive him for the cheating, that is your right and your decision...however there are people here who will tell you that liars don't deserve a second chance, at least not when it comes to a lie that involves cheating because that goes too far, and some will insist that cheaters never change.

However there are some that think even cheaters deserve more chances...and...if the cheater is a really good provider, to just turn a blind eye and just enjoy the soft, comfortable, easy life they provide for you. Or, they will say in some circumstances, the cheating was justified.

Have you taken AIDS, HPV, herpes and HEP tests? Cheaters also easily spread disease.

Well, good luck to you...I hope you feel better and make the right decision, whatever it turns out to be. Your love for him must run very deeply if you still want him. I do think though you should listen to everything your concerned family and friends have to say, and listen with a very open mind. Please don't stress your parents out too much about this...and please remember...with age comes experience and wisdom, so pay very close attention to what older people have to say about things like this...like what your folks have to say about it. They want what's best for you and want you to be safe and happy. No girl ever dreams about falling in love with some lowlife cheater someday...I doubt he is really the man of your dreams, if you really thought about it.

Of course they don't want you to go back because they don not want it to happen again and with cheating probably 90% of ppl that cheat are chronic cheaters! Which means yes they do it again maybe not this year maybe not next but 5 10 years from now it'll happen! Just think of someone else in your situation what would you tell your best friend or sister to do if the same thing happened to her! Only you can decide if you can truely forgive and forget and only he can keep it in his pants!

Good for you if you can find forgiveness in your heart. It is a hard thing to try and get over and you never really will.

If he is truly resentful then you now have the upper hand in the relationship and can have pretty much anything you want from him.

If he cheats again then get out of there.

It is all about you. Dont let your family decide. If you are strong enough to give it another shot. do so. You wont regret it later. Plus if he is asking for one chance too. I know some couples that worked their ways out after that.

The worst thing that can happen to marriage is for the couples to separate. Everybody is faced with trials, and this is just one of them. It's not your family and friends who will be with your husband. But it's you. He will later on come to his senses.

there is a possibility that he will hurt you again but its up to you to determine what your future will be like. if you want to go back with him then go back with him but don't be surprised when the same thing happens again. the worst thing to do is live with the what ifs and live with someone else making a decision for you. good luck.

your friends and family know you best and probably better than you know yourself (at times, im sure) and so they're always gonna be there supporting you. sounds like they just don't wanna see you hurt. they know you dont deserve to be cheated on.

It's your life if you want to go back then do it. For me I wouldn't be able to let it go and forgive him but it's not me it's you do what makes you happy!

Family's can sometimes see flaws in your mate that you can not.

Listen to them, then, make a choice.