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How long should I let my baby cry herself to sleep?

My 13mo. old baby has always been a wonderful sleeper. She's down between 8 & 8:30pm & sleeps until around 8am. Last night I had to let her cry herself to sleep and it broke my heart.

She was so tired, yawning, rubbing her eyes, etc. at the normal time. I tried to put her down as I do every night but she freaked out. She doesn't just cry, she screams to the point of choking herself. I could tell they were "mad" screams, not hurt, tired, hungry, etc.

Twice I got up & held her. Both times she didn't want held. She struggled to get out of my arms. All she wanted to do was get down on the floor to play & chase the dogs & cats. I wouldn't let her because she was already in her pj's & I didn't want her getting them all hairy & getting hair in her crib. She was literally climbing me struggling to get down. When she realized I wasn't going to put her down she started screaming again.

Finally around 10:30 I was so tired I was scared I'd fall asleep holding her & drop her so I had to just put her in her bed & let her scream. I don't know how long she screamed because I fell asleep a little after 11pm & she was still screaming at the time.

The logical part of me knows it's ok to let her scream sometimes and that I can't give in - especially when she's mad - and let her do whatever she wants whenever she wants to do it. But my heart was breaking hearing her screaming & crying.

How long is it ok to let her scream? A half hour? An hour? 2 hours? If I go in there to pat her back it just makes it worse, unless I pick her up. But when I pick her up she just wants me to put her down.

How long is it ok to let this go on? A few days? A week? She has been such a good sleeper & I really hope this nightly battle doesn't become a habit. This is the 3rd night in a row. The 1st 2 nights after I held her for a few minutes & put her back down she went right to sleep after only whimpering for a couple minutes.

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just keep doing what you're doing, she's not crying for any reason other than she wants to play. She needs to learn that bed time is sleep time not play time. I know it's hard but it's best for her in the long run.

    If she's screaming because she doesn't get what she wants, then you going in every 10 mins isn't going to help, it'll just teach her that if she cries you'll come running.

    Keep it up and you'll see results very soon I promise you!

  • 1 decade ago

    I am very sympathetic to your problem, I have a 9 month old who has always been an amazing sleeper but lately he has been doing the same. He wants to play in his crib and stand up and bounce around. I have also been trying the cry it out method and to me it seems like there is no sure amount of time that its okay...I guess its more about what you feel comfortable with and what you can stand. I would say that you are doing the best you can and like someone else said maybe try isolating your baby in her room and keep the animals away so that she is not distracted. Maybe some white noise in the background could help her? In the end though I do feel like this will be more beneficial to our children than holding them and letting them have their way all the time and rocking and singing them to sleep right now. Because they are learning to do it on their own and promoting healthier sleeping habits for later in life. Its not easy but just stick it out and I'm sure your baby will be back to normal in no time.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    My little girl is now 8 months and has been sleeping on her tummy and through the night for some time now. As long as you dont pile the crib full of blankets or animals she should be fine...Now about "Cry It Out" I think that every baby is different and reacts to different things. With that being said "Cry It Out" worked with my first and third NOT my second! You know as long as she has been fed and she has a fresh diaper I would say it's fine and let her lay how she wants to. Go in every 10-15 mins to check on her and let her know it's ok but dont pick her up try rubbing her back or just sitting on the floor....You will be ok and so will she. Good Luck :)

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    Whatever you do, do not pick her up. you are only sending her the wrong message.

    There is a self soothing technique but you have to stick with it for a few days. when you put her to bed rub her front or back and say "now baby, its time to sleep" walk away and leave her.

    Do this again if she cries for more than 15mins. Just repeat this process until she gets the message. Coming back and whispering/reassuring her will let her know that you are close by. eventually it will work.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Made a table with time intervals of how long you should let your baby cry during the night before soothing it to help the baby teach itself to soothe and fall asleep on its own.

    I can not copy paste it here becasue it is is a HTML table so please see the link about the time intervals. You start with 3 minutes and then gradually increase the periods of crying with you soothing (BUT NOT PICKING UP) the baby for a minute in between but as I said, please check the link for a more detailed table

    BE careful with using aids as music, pacifiers and other gimmicks people wanna sell you. Human beings should learn to fall asleep on their own. Sometimes it is tough but in the long run it is extremely helpful!

    Source(s): http://kids-nook.com/every-child-can-learn-to-slee... Annette Kast-Zahn, Hartmut Morgenroth: "Every child can learn to sleep"
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    If you want to put your baby to sleep in 20 seconds you must get the "Instant Baby Sleep" MP3 sound track. Here is their official web-site: http://www.instantbabysleep.net/

    The sound track gently produces energy over the full human hearing spectrum with an embedded pulse that gently eases the brain to the Alpha state well known for drowsiness and sleep induction.

  • 1 decade ago

    I tried controlled crying and it didnt work for me. It just upset my daughter and me - the last time i tried it she vomited. I used to spend ages in her room rocking her but since she was about 13 months old I have put her into bed with me if she is unsettled so we both get sleep. It hardly happens, she generally sleeps alone and if I put her off in my bed, I transfer her back to her cot and she doesn't wake up. 9 times out of 10 she sleeps alone in her room for 12 hours.

    Dogs and cats plural - how many dogs and cats are sharing the house? When she is unsettled, hold her but isolate her in a room where there are no animals to distract her or make her want to play with them. If you have animals in your bed tho don't let her sleep with you or she will want to play all night. Good luck x

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm..

    well am not at all qualified to asnwer this ..

    but i have a niece .. she is 9 months old... and she likes me a lot..

    thing is u dont let ur baby cry hersefl till she goes to sleep..

    better do something and calm her down...

    u i alwasy sing ' Rihanna - In my UMBERALLEA" song and it always works...

    seriously she sleeps soo happily... i sing it slowly for her near her ears...

    and she falls asleep hearing it....

    try it out ....may be it mgiht work...

    hope i helped

    have fun

    Source(s): self
  • 1 decade ago

    Unless she is sick, I'd let her cry until she falls asleep without taking her into my arms. I am a father and my son tried to train us (yes, little children always do that: they try to train their parents to do the tricks that they like) when he was about 18 months. We were passing by a toy store and he wanted us to buy him a toy that he saw in the window. I told him that I didn't have the money for it. He started crying. Then he sat on the sidewalk and started screaming. His mother and I left him right there and kept walking. Of course, he didn't see that we were keeping a close eye on him, so, when he saw that we meant business, he stood up and soon he caught up with us. Since then, he has never done that.

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