My ex-wife passed away recently and I wanted to know the proper protocol for this.?

If the family doesn't get along with you I think you should stay away from the funeral. You can visit the grave later if you need some closure but you really aren't family anymore. If you aren't wanted you would just be making a horrible experience even more hurtful.

Well, if I were a part of the family, I would respect you for coming to the funeral. I'm not sure what others would say, but the fact that you guys had a bad go and you still wanted to come anyway says a lot. If you feel uncomfortable with risking it, it's a good idea to send a card that's really heartfelt and honest. Saying goodbye in your own way is fine too. There's really no wrong way, I would just suggest the first option over the others.

It's you who has to live with it, not your ex's family.

If you want to say goodbye by attending the funeral, then do so. This woman may be the mother of your children-- and if not, she's still someone you spent a very important part of your life with.

Sit in the back of the church-- don't mingle with the family who were difficult to you. If someone does come up and start something untoward, you can simply say that you came out of respect for a woman you once loved and who once loved you, and leave it at that for the sake of her memory.

You may still want the crappy shot of whiskey later, but YOU are the one who needs closure-- don't let her family ruin that.

When you got divorced you both will have signed to say you can make no demands on the others estates and give up all rights, so don't worry, she won't be entitled to claim a thing

My suggestion is to contact the funeral home and ask when there would be a private time for you to say goodbye to the deceased. Tell them that due to the acrimonious divorce, her family would be more upset than comforted by your presence. Most funeral homes will do this unless they have been specifically told not to.

-I would not go to the service. Services are for family, and if the family doesn't like you, it could be very awkward having you there, and with emotions running high, someone might cause a scene.

-I would send her mother a condolence card, and make sure you include in it that you may not have gotten along, but you are very sorry for the pain she is going through over her loss. I would also ask her forgiveness in the card, to be polite.

-I would have that shot on the night of the service. And maybe on the day of her burial too.

seems like a hard thing to go through but it's a public funeral.

My husband mother and father do not get along. I'm surprised they showed face at the same building meaning our wedding.

however when my husbands gramda pasted away.

My mother in law was there. Her ex husband and her had a nasty divorce as well.

My really good friend passed away a few years ago. she had cancer and her ex stole money from her and cheated on her. He had enought balls to show up. Everyone was giving him dirty looks. I did ask my friends to can the dirty looks I don't agree what he did to her but he has every right to show his respects. what little that he has. I at least said hi to him...

I think if you want to pay your respects you go and do just that. if someone says something mean to you ignore them. Just look at them and say i'm hear to pay my respects don't worry i'm not staying!

If you have children you should be there to support them in this very difficult time, If not, then I would stay away given all the hard feelings between you and the family. If you feel you need to do something, sen flowers.

There's nothing wrong with staying away from the family and the funeral. Just find a couple of friends and toast her memory and leave it at that. You will not be an unethical person for doing so.

I don't think you should go to the funeral unless you were invited, but YES send a nice card/flowers....it shows you care, without stirring up any old resentments from her family.